Jacob's Story: What I Learned from a Transgender Child

As I sat down to watch the NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt one evening, there was a segment about a young child, no more than five years old at the time of the interview, but since the age of two, this young girl named Mia knew she wanted to be identified as a boy and not as a girl.  Now, I'm sure many people would say that at two years old a child is very impressionable and can't possibly know that she or he wants to be identified as the opposite sex.  Mia's parents perhaps thought this was the case but finally began honoring their daughter's request and started identifying Mia as Jacob after speaking with professionals about Jacob's demands.  During the interview, Jacob's mom stated that he was always Persistent, Consistent and Insistent about being identified as a boy.

Jacob knew deep down what he wanted to be and whom he wanted to be identified as.  Jacob's determination, his actions, his passion and his beliefs got him where he wanted to be and whom he wanted to be early on in life.  Did Jacob meet resistance? Sure he did, but that didn't stop him!  You see, Jacob was and is confident in his abilities as a boy and I presume will be as a man.  How many of us can say that we have the determination, take the actions, have the passion and belief in ourselves and our abilities to achieve something the way that Jacob did?  We need to follow Jacob's lead when it comes to Persistence, Consistence and Insistence.  No matter how difficult a task is or who opposes it, be Persistent about getting the task done.  Don't give up!  Develop the patterns that will get you to the next level. Stay focused and stay Consistent with those actions!  Demand that you be heard and seen.  People will soon appreciate and understand your Insistence.  They will know that your passion, your beliefs and your actions hold true to your heart!

So In conclusion, Jacob's story and his qualities inspired me to write this, but most importantly his story made me realize that being Persistent, Consistent and Insistent are arguably the three main keys to success in one's life and that success is determined by whatever you deem important for your life.

Check out Jacob's story:  

http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/transgender-kids/jacobs-journey-life-transgender-5-year-old-n345131

In case you need to know the meaning of Persistent, Consistent and Insistent I've provided the definitions below.

Persistent:  Firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.

Consistent:  Always action or behaving in the same way.

Insistent:  The act of demanding something or saying something in a way that does not allow disagreement.

THE IRONY!

How ironic, the Rochester, NY 911 Deputy Director Stephen Cusenz was suspended for five days for racially insensitive comments on a FB posts of an Irondequoit (a town of Rochester) Police Officer whom's post was inappropriate, insulting and racist to, Mexicans, African Americans and the African Americans people like him LOVE to HATE the most, POTUS and the First Lady. This is so ironic, but no surprise what so ever to me that Rochester's 911 Deputy Director Stephen Cusenz chimed in with his racial comments. Stephen is an alum of Leadership Rochester (lol-Leader) class of 2012, the same time I participated in the program. I remember so specifically the day we came back from Get Grounded Day, exploring different areas of the city of Rochester. During Mr. Cusenz debriefing of his exploration, which was the inner city, he described what he saw as the GHETTO. Now, I know what most people's images, thoughts and expectations of the GHETTO are, but I took this personal. I took it personal because there I was, sitting right there, in the same Leadership class that he was a part of, coming from the same area he had just explored doing exactly what he was doing except I wasn't criticizing the area I explored in a negative way. I discovered his racism back then (I think I'm a pretty good judge of character-doesn't look like I was wrong either) and now everyone else is seeing it. I was so mad but yet inspired by his depiction of what I've know as home, that I decided to make an acronym out of the word G.H.E.T.T.O. (Great  History Emerges Through Though Oppression) and make t-shirts. If you don't believe me check out this link from a year ago.. http://blogvizunz.blogspot.com/2014/02/ghetto.html

 

You see, racism rears its head even when people may not think they are being racist. Those intimate thoughts come to ahead and eventually bursts like a pimple. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion and First Amendment Right to free speech, but when we have so called Leaders leading in the city to protect and serve us, whom are racist, the rest of us are screwed. Who do we have to look forward to for help? Why would they want to help us when deep down they don't give a rats @&& what happens to us. Being the 911 Deputy Director is a rather important position. When calls come in to the center what is Mr. Cusenz really instructing his staff to do when the calls come in from the GHETTO?

 What makes matters even worse, I've contacted Leadership Rochester twice about my name not being listed under the alumni section, but guess who is listed, Stephen Cusenz the wonderful racist leader he is (shrugs shoulders-now my name may never be updated, lol).

A Year Ago Today: Remembering Jeff Newland

A year ago today(10/23/13), I was at work and things were going as normal as planned.   At 10:52 AM, I received a text message from my brother, stating to “call me ASAP!!!!.”  Although I never like to see those type of messages, I didn’t think anything was wrong as I knew my brother would have called me if it was an emergency.  As the text read, I immediately picked up the phone and gave him a call.  Nothing could prepare me for what my brother was telling me on the other end of the phone.  He said that he received a Facebook message from one of his friends asking him to give him a call. My brother stated he wasn’t going to call his friend because he was in the midst of getting things in order before leaving for his trip to Charlotte, NC, but my brother said something said to call his friend.  Once he called his friend, my brother also wasn’t prepared to hear what he was about to hear.  His friend told him that Jeff Newland, a mentor to many, my brother and myself included, and a community leader, was found DEAD! Once my brother relayed the same information to me, I was stunned! How could this be possible?! Not Jeff!!

Just the night before, I was getting ready for bed, and I literally said, "I need to send Jeff an email for the Best II Things class this week to confirm that I would be in attendance," tomorrow never came for that. Instead, tomorrow struck me with the sudden news of his death. A death that in my eyes was unwarranted as he was murdered. Any death of a friend or loved one from a sickness is very hard and difficult to deal with but easier to come to terms with, but a death by murder especially of someone that was well respected and honored others before himself is unfathomable.

I met Jeff years before Best II Things.  I was looking to volunteer my time and thought Big Brothers Big Sisters would be the place to do so.  I was interviewed by Jeff in his office at Big Brothers Big Sisters.  I can still see him sitting in the mahogany office chair, smiling and talking about the vision that he saw Big Brothers and Big Sisters (BBBS) going in in the future. Volunteering never panned out for me with BBBS and thus my quick encounter with Jeff was over, or at least I thought it was.

Some years later, my brother held a networking event and somehow he became familiar with Jeff and invited him to the networking event.  When I got to the networking event, I saw Jeff in the corner, networking and having a beer.  He was just so friendly and down to earth probably just the opposite of what one would think of for someone of his stature.  We started talking and I reminded him that I interviewed with him a few years prior at BBBS, that jogged his memory and he talked about the great time he had there and his new commitment with Rochester Mentors and how he and my brother met through an event in which the organization was looking to gather mentors in which my brother attended.

My brother and Jeff remained in contact with each other and in 2013 Jeff invited him to a networking event to which my brother asked me to attend with him.  Low and behold, Jeff and I would cross paths yet again.  As always, Jeff was warm and welcoming. He was in the midst of establishing Best II Things through monthly networking events held at the Pillars.  The networking events were always friendly, warming, welcoming, and just that, networking.  Somehow, Jeff had a knack of bringing the right people together for a greater cause.  The purpose of the Best II Things were to get people to recognize their potential in a setting amongst other individuals that would help bring out the best in them by helping each other think differently and answer questions about themselves in the most honest of ways.

For me, Jeff was the ultimate supporter!  He believed in your dreams more than you believed in them! His care was genuine. It showed in his interactions with you. He never once doubted your abilities, he always found a way to uplift your spirits! He gave me an opportunity to have the floor at his networking event one evening. In that setting, I expressed to him how much I appreciated him and how much I had gained from us crossing paths yet again. I was so glad that I had the opportunity to let him know how I felt about him, not knowing that it would be one of the last few times I would see his gleaming smile.  The last time I saw Jeff was of course at one of the monthly networking events. I remember I wasn't feeling quite confident that day and I expressed this to him.  And in Jeff fashion, he found the way to encourage me.

Unfortunately, Jeff was taken away from us for some unknown reason.  A reason that yet remains a mystery to us all.  The person that I knew wasn't worthy of this. Jeff was one of those people that you may only meet once in this lifetime. Selfless, sincere, caring, down to earth, uplifting, honorable, genuine, smart, great listener, great communicator, supportive, wise, and so many more great adjectives to describe him (insert yours here)!  I can't think of a reason someone would want him dead. What I do know is that whomever it was took someone away from us all that served a great purpose on this earth. And even though someone took him away from us he continues to serve a greater purpose in his untimely death. That purpose is for us to live at our Best however we may see fit. I'm sure I speak for many that had the pleasure of knowing Jeff when I say he forever lives on through us in our endeavors and life journey. He smiles down on us when he sees us pursuing what we love.  Thanks Jeff for your unwavering support and belief in our dreams! Your legacy will not be in vain. May your spirit forever live through us! Rest Peacefully my friend, rest peacefully!

Violence: From Ferguson to Rochester

I have been reluctant to talk about the recent violent activities that have been happening around the country in the urban neighborhoods, in #Ferguson, MO and in my hometown of #Rochester, NY.  I guess I’ve been reluctant to speak because of the numbness that continued violence brings.  However, I feel the need to address my thoughts and concerns over the latest and continued violence that has plagued our communities, our families, our minds, our hearts, our television and social media outlets over the past several weeks.

#Ferguson:   I’ll start off by speaking about Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO.  It saddens me that our black men are being executed by Law Enforcement and so called wannabe Law Enforcement, i.e., George Zimmerman, without a care in the world for them as a human being.  I use the term ours because we all are Americans and most importantly we are all GOD’s children whether you like it or not.  All black men are just as equal as the next man and deserve the same respect and honor.  Law Enforcement is suppose to “Protect and Serve” not Seek and Eliminate.  Such Officers that have a disregard for life are criminals disguised as Officers and don’t deserve to hold such positions.  There is something terribly wrong with such actions and anyone that can’t see this, regardless of your race, has real deep-rooted hatred for mankind. Michael Brown left behind his beloved family, friends and his future.

#Rochester:  Rochester, NY my hometown sees its fair share of violence.  Two years ago, I lost my cousin, Lawrence Richardson to said violence.  Unfortunately, the violence continues and not just civilians shooting civilians.  On Wednesday, September 3, 2014 Officer Daryl Pierson of the Rochester Police Department was shot by a suspect(whom is an actual criminal) during a pursuit to apprehend the suspect. Unfortunately, Officer Pierson succumbed to the injury that he sustained that night.  Just like the shooting of Michael Brown, the shooting of Officer Pierson troubles me as well.  Again, our brother was shot and killed by a criminal while doing his job. There is no reason for such violence against an Officer.  Our community, just like all communities need Police Officers in order to truly “Protect and Serve,” just as Officer Pierson was doing that night for the city of Rochester.  So often Police Officers are labeled as bad, untrustworthy, corrupt and hated by the community because they don’t do their job.  But what happens when an Officer is in fact doing their job and gets gunned down by a criminal?  How does the community feel then?  Just like anyone else that is a victim to violence, Officer Pierson leaves behind family and friends.  He left to cherish his memory two very young children, a 4 year old that he took to school that very same day for the first day of school and a three 3 month old daughter, his wife, along with other family and friends, and probably most importantly his children’s future.  

           

            My final thoughts conclude on the basis of life.  I’d like to believe that we all were placed on this earth to make the world a better place, not to take the life of another human being.  Regardless of if it’s a Police Officer shooting and killing an unarmed man or a suspect shooting and killing a Police Officer, they both are evil acts.  Some will say that the two incidents can’t be compared and I agree to a certain extent.  However, I feel they both are the same because two lives were lost. I’ve seen comments on social media sites regarding both of these matters in which people suggest that Michael Brown was a criminal and displayed criminal actions by stealing prior to his death to now cops know how we the people feel when they shoot and kill someone.  I disagree with both of these points of view because someone lost their life and their family lost a loved one.  People with these feelings clearly don’t have any regard for the life of another individual because if they did, such thoughts wouldn’t even come across their minds.  Life is love and love is living and in order to truly live we must love one another.  In order to love one another we must TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD because when you TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD, there is no place for hatred. 

            I conclude with a prayer to not only these two families but to all families that have lost loved ones as a result of violence.  Father God, bless the families that have suffered the lost of their loved ones at the hands of another. You have given us Free Will but that Free Will has caused so many to use it to harm others.  Let your Will replace those that use their freedom to impose harm to others.  May we find it in our hearts to forgive, to bridge the gap between races and authority so that we can live peacefully amongst each other.  In Jesus’ name, AMEN.

G.H.E.T.T.O.

G.H.E.T.T.O.

            Back in early 2011, I was a participant in Leadership Rochester, a non-profit organization that aims to provide established and emerging leaders knowledge and access to resources that would enable them to respond to the quality of life issues in the Greater Rochester area.  During one of the assignments for this program, participants had to explore different neighborhoods outside of where they may have grown up or currently lived.  During the debriefing of this assignment, one gentleman spoke about his experience going into the inner city.  Of course, he did not reside nor did he grow up there.  During his breakdown of what he experienced, he of course used the term GHETTO to describe his experience.  The gentleman described the GHETTO with quite unfavorable descriptions as one might imagine he would.  Based upon his observations and the fact that he didn’t know, grow-up in, or understand anything about the GHETTO, some might hold his sentiments in high regards.  I of course did not.  As I sat there and listened, I thought to myself, how could I give a different viewpoint of what the GHETTO is or what it can be?  Heck, I’m from the GHETTO and I sat just as an equal to him in this leadership program, all can’t be bad. 

            I pondered how could I make something so negative in society’s mind be something more meaningful.  After being inspired by this one individual’s opinion (which of course was his right), I came up with an acronym for G.H.E.T.T.O.-Great History Emerges Through Tough Oppression.  For me G.H.E.T.T.O. is where many of the world’s greatest leaders, innovators, politicians, doctors, lawyers, teachers, entrepreneurs, athletes, entertainers, and countless other dreamers and achievers come from.  I could not stand to see a term, which didn’t originate from black and brown culture, demonize our people.   As a matter of fact (yes FACT) the term GHETTO originated back in the 16^th century when the Nazis (German’s) isolated the Jewish people from non-Jewish populations during World War II.  And just like the GHETTO’s of the 16^th century, the GHETTO’s of today are used to isolate and watch those that are isolated succumb to the grave living conditions.  This cannot continue to take place.

            Whether you are African-American, Hispanic, Jewish, Asian, Indian or any other ethnic group where you live or grew up in the G.H.E.T.T.O., remember that Great History Emerges Through Tough Oppression. We are people of a greater purpose than what others may believe. As oppression still exits in many forms today, we have the foundation of our ancestors to build upon.  No one said the road would be easy, and in this case, a road well travelled is better than one that hasn’t been travelled at all.  Our ancestors travelled frequently on these oppressed roads and made history! So can we!

To place an order for a G.H.E.T.T.O. t-shirt that inspires you to rise above oppression and make great history go to www.uniquevizunzapparel.spreadshirt.com

G.H.E.T.T.O.

By

Lakeisha Smith

CEO Unique Vizunz

YET

There's a since of urgency in my life, yet I remain patient with the process.  I've always known that I am not promised tomorrow, yet I continue to plan for the future.  It's good to foster positive relationships, yet I have to keep a close watch on those whom deem themselves positive and say they want me to succeed, as they maybe the ones that cause me not to.  I stay hopeful for justice to prevail, yet injustice seems to win. Even if justice prevails, yet it will never bring back what once was.  No, I am not afraid to say there are things I am fearful of, yet I am courageous enough to face and fight through them.  As there maybe areas where I am weak, yet I am strong enough to carry the burden and rise above.  As I am not where I want to be, yet I am grateful that I am not where I use to be.  I have not seen my best days yet, but the Lord told me, the best is YET to come!


http://youtu.be/6prmDAcu9zA

WORDS!!!

It was always taught that words don't hurt.  The old phrase, "stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," was often recited when we were young and someone said something mean. You just knew that phrase was the end all be all.  My have times changed.  We are living in a day and age where words damage people's lives in so many ways.  There is the example from 2012 where a school bus monitor in Greece, NY, a suburb of Rochester, NY was bullyied by the students on the school bus. Many people came to her aid, in the end raising over $800,000 allowing her to retire from her job.  Fast forward to 2013 and Paula Dean's use of certain words ended up costing her millions of dollars in endorsement deals and destroying a multimillion dollar brand.

The above examples deal with someone gaining money and someone losing money because of words.  Grant it, no one wants to lose money but it can always be made again.  In most cases the outcome isn't that simple.  What about those that are brutally beaten over the use of words?  What about those that commit suicide because they felt so low from someone else's use of words against them? What about those that are killed because someone didn't like the words that someone else spewed?  So, why are we using words to destroy us?  We all have been an aggressor of words at one point or another in our lives. No one is exempt.  However, one thing I do know is that I am willing to be transparent enough to know that I am willing to do my best at dropping those negative words and turning them into positive words.  Words like grow, challenge, strength, love, prosper, help, proud, winners, beautiful, greatness, joy, happiness, freedom, courage, fellowship, admiration, inspire, succeed, etc.  Words that will allow the next person, regardless of race, creed, religion, or culture to feel as important as God purposed all of us to to feel when he crafted us.  Words can end a situation badly or words can bridge differences together.  So choose your words wisely so that they can help lift us up instead of tearing each other down.